Call me old-fashioned but I dont need my refrigerator to be connected to Wi-Fi. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. These funny tweets definitely help alleviate growing pains. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday, 5: Whats for dinner? Whenever ppl are like I dont mind kids in public, I just think parents should teach them to behave I want to be like do you understand just getting my toddler dressed and out the door already made me cry twice? Follow her on Twitter and Instagram. And a sudden urge to eat crackers and chicken nuggets! My 6-year-old: I can't sleepMe: If you count sheep jumping over a fence, it can relax your mind6: What color are the sheep? There should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids. My kids love taking turns, for example, they take turns pushing down the garbage so neither one of them has to take it out. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. ". These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. I dont care anymore if hes singing Old McDonald in this Safeway. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Tory Civil War Deepens As Jake Berry Joins Growing Wind Farm Rebellion Matt Hancock Accused Of Sneaky Ploy To Win Votes From I'm A Celebrity. 7YO: Can I get a snack?Me: Are you feeling hungry?7YO: You dont need to be hungry to eat a cookie! Janene #1 Ok, that's adorable My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. By 6 AM I had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning. 6: am i made of yolk?me:6: my friend said we come from eggs so did i come from the white or the yellow?me: ahhgo ask your father. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. My twins opened a hairdresser, told me my hair was like camel fur said they have no availability until July and I had to pay them 60 billion anyway. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. 25 of the Funniest Tweets About Life With Preschoolers, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. Wait, why are they jumping? You really showed that glass! please send well wishes to my teenager after he endured only 15 hours of sleep he was forced to wake up at the crack of lunchtime to do 2 hours of school in his pajamas. "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. My toddler said "I feel drinky" and yeah girl, same. My husband put the dishes away.If you have any information about their whereabouts we are deeply concerned for their safety at this time. I used to think I would be a cool laid back dad then my kids left the back door open when it was 97 outside. ". 8: It's Mom. Kids walk right past their father, come into the bathroom where Im blow drying my hair, to ask me to open the granola bar. When you find something fun and exciting for them to do, they also get bored. 1. me: I had my first crush on a girl when I was in the first grade. i forgot to set the trash can out and missed the pick up. These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. My husband had something delivered to the house, so I opened it.I am screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc. If we didnt have synovial fluid it would hurt to move! Have a good weekend everybody! pic.twitter.com/LaYESO0aC8, I had a really annoying day. [Watching our kids play]My wife: They are so weird, right?Me: I don't even notice anymore. Yay, summer! I'd be happy with 10 pounds! 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Like exhaustation. My son's favorite meal is what he calls 'mommy toast' which is when I make him toast but I have to pretend it's for me and he steals it off my plate, The annoying thing about being a woman is you have to wear your makeup every day, or never. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. So, whats for gross dinner?Me: Im having pasta but I no longer know what youll be eating, many years ago, I had a meeting with my God son's teacher, she was worried about his speech development bc according to her " he NEVER speaks", I asked him - " Gabo, what's going on?" My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling COME ON, GUYS! from the couch. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Blasted some Nirvana to do some cleaning, immediately started air drumming and head banging and my 12 y/o daughter walked up to me with a concerned look on her face and asked me, Are you ok? like some kind of Boomer trying to bring me down. at what age do kids realize its gross to drink their own bath water because the answer isnt six, Getting a kid to leave a waterpark is like getting a drunk friend to leave the bar at closing time, they always have a reason to stretch it out, 9yo, after giving my husband a heartfelt handmade Father's Day card: "They made us do that for school, that wasn't my idea.". Hold on to it. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 10-16) "'I better not shout, I better not cry,' I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time." By Caroline Bologna Dec 16, 2022, 02:44 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. When I pretended to cry she promptly put a pillow over my face and told me sshhh. My pregnant wife asked for an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. I watched you guys open everything. I just threw out that really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven years. Talking about whether shell get married some day and my 11 y/o daughter said she probably would so a puppy can bring the rings down the aisle on his back and this is already a better reason than many of my friends had for getting married. 25 Of The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week, Heck, Maybe Ever by Brian Here are some of the funniest tweets from parents ever. [COMMERCIAL ON TV] Me, as a kid: Hey, I have that toy! Im on a business trip and I get this text from my husband, I think the kids have hidden a hotdog in the house, but I cant find it. Like obviously the answer is yes. I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. Probably something gross like last time. Im pretty sure they were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy. Part of HuffPost Relationships. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Picked up my sons from school and stopped to get gas, invited them to get out of the car and learn how to do it. Janene #1 Ouch! Here are some of the best tweets I've come across this week. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Thank you for following us on this journey. Janene #1 Similar to the "they don't make batteries for that toy anymore" trick My daughter has decided she now eats dark chocolate, the one treat I never had to hide because I was the only one in the house who liked it. I hate to disparage a small business but do not go to my daughter's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC. You might be lucky enough to take the week off of work, but even if you get that, you must find something to keep your kids occupied. Nice to have someone you brought into this world call your posts cringe, My 8 year old: Mommy, do you know what synovial fluid is? DON'T. Well, yeah. Think twice about what you say in front of them. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Kids today are able to text their moms when they need to be picked up. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. All 7 minutes of it. You can have kids or you can have a complete set of silverware. My husband and I were discussing whether we wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough. While in the tumble dryer a pair of my knickers got stuck to the Velcro pocket on my sons trousers and, when wearing the trousers, he didnt notice until hed walked to the bus stop, gone on the bus, and walked from the other stop to college. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Main Menu. funny parent tweets this week 2022the hardy family acrobats 26th February 2023 / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by My daughter has decided she loves giving massages, or as I like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance. Its not like we pee our pants, wake up 40 times a night, wear our pajamas around all day and oh. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. my 7yo: wow that was a long time ago do you think shes still alive? Because, you know, it was a really good box. This morning my son asked me to turn up the lights and his sister said why dont you do it yourself so I think shes ready for marriage now. V punk obviously but otherwise, truly fucked me up. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Mommy find my toy or I'm not going to be your sweet boy anymore! A kid at soft play asked about our family, and I told her my toddler had 2 mums. Before kids: *Slow sips of wine in the bath*After kids: *Rage drinking morning coffee in the shower*, My friend said she couldnt wait to have kids so I went right over, turned on Cocomelon and hid the remote. I was in the bathroom when my 5-year-old busted in there with a tambourine. careful with that cursor son. from the couch. We serve 6 different types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and we read.Genius! Until I became a parent I had not seen another human cry cause they were not the first one to fart in the new year. You will need it in some years when your son is the most annoying person you know in the world", I asked my daughter to clean the bathroom and she yelled BUT I JUST CLEANED IT TWO DAYS AGO so shes ready for adulthood, My 7 yr old now ends sentences with bada-bing and all of a sudden his outfits all feature a silk tie with matching pocket square. "80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad". [After dropping a container of blueberries all over the floor] 8 y/o: See! Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 15, 2022. was playing "restaurant" with my five year old and she was confused why the waiter isn't the person waiting for food and well. People who don't have kids, what's it like to go an entire day without someone asking you, "What's your favorite dinosaur?". My kids knew that. That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 16, 2022. Once your kids become teens you only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows. Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez @johndavids_635 Kids cough like this but you wanna open up schools???? 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid?Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent.8: It's Mom. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Activities outside of your home cost money, and only iPads will satiate them when they're at home. Sign up to follow me here! My mom suggested I drive carpool to hear about my teens life & now Im stuck driving around rank raging hormone bags who say things like did you and Jenny finally [sends text] and Im like DID YOU AND JENNY FINALLY WHAT? Enjoy. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. The 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents this Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Sept. 17-23) "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddler's toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce." By Caroline Bologna Sep 23, 2022, 03:42 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. pic.twitter.com/ATTTKhNeOq. She is a proud Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and champion of the Oxford Comma. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! I feel like Ive really grown as a person already this year. May 20, 2022, 04:36 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. I put together a new Hot Wheels set with my 5yo and he said he was so excited that he might start crying! My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. pic.twitter.com/hWtAjufSwa. My 4yo asked me what Im getting him for my birthday tomorrow. Me: You mean red light, green light. My daughter has an Instagram account now. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. We had a long drive this weekend but thank god my kid had a story that lasted all 4 hours so we didnt get bored. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Me: Me, to my 11 yo: What do you want to do for your 12th birthday party in Feb?Her: I want a Potato Book partyMe: What's that?Her: Just something I came up with. Wait, what color is the fence? I got mad. 90% of parenting is crumb identification. Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. I got-Me: I know. Tried to help my 9yo with math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat. i have failed you. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. This is how the argument started. ", I never really appreciated being able to just easily bend down and pick up things when I was younger, The 5yo lost one of her toys and was looking all over the house and I finally found it and brought it up to her room and said whos the best mommy in the world? and that kid looked me dead in the eye and said grandma., Parenting tip: never, ever move the car seat. Because shes in the livingroom. PARENTING PSA: All 4th-graders are narcs. Some highlights:"Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby. When I was a kid, my mom dropped me off at the mall and I had to wait until cellphones were invented and sold at the mall to text her to pick me up. Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning. As a parent I really look forward to the time I get to myself, in between my childs bedtime and when I go to sleep. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. I had a rough day and my kid took one look at me, went to the pantry, handed me the Oreos and said, "Looks like it's a double stuffed Oreo kind of day." So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Secretly bending the hose your kid is using so the water stops flowing then suggesting that the hose must be broken and encouraging them to look inside as you release the pressure and set Old Faithful off in their face makes you a dad. 8: Hold that grape while I cut it.6: Ok! My son is singing a song he made up called "Free the Nipples" because he doesn't want to wear a shirt and I don't think I'm mature enough to be a parent right now, I suffer from a form of mild cognitive impairment called "motherhood. It's too late to impress them. It truly is a wonderful life. My 7yo, "I wanted to go out to eat with you! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! She tries to hit the baby and it tries to hit back. Turn it off! If you wear it every day and then take even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying. 6 pointed out a tree and asked if it was deciduous. 20 Funny Tweets From Women Whose Husbands Are in the Dog House, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. Tomorrows dress up day for my kids school is throwback to the 2000s. Pardon me while I go grab my walker. Jan. 23, 2023, 7:30 AM PST / Source: TODAY. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Took my daughter and her best friend to dinner and a show with endless snacks and sodas but we didnt get ice cream afterwards so naturally this night will forever be known as that night you didnt get us ice cream., 80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad. NOBODY MOVE. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids, Top 20 Sweet and Funny Tweets For Valentines Day. - Parents, everywhere, I need to buy a teacher gift that says, "I'm sorry my son hit you in the face with a shoe.". "My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' -my 4yo threatening me. Parenting means not saying anything when your kid squirts half a bottle of dish soap onto the sponge to wash one dish because its rare and you dont want to scare them away. I am like reeallly good at getting old. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more! The Charmin' Carmen (@Charmin_Carmen) January 11, 2023. Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday. Kids are terrifying. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. my five year old would like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Me, as an adult: Hey, I'm on that medication. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Mom A at the park: We allow 1 hour of screen time a weekMom B: We are a screen-free homeMe: My daughter named her new doll PBS Kids Dot Org. ", My kid just turned 4 so I keep telling her things like: 4 year olds always clean up their toys after their done playing, and 4 year olds always eat everything on their plateso far its working but I suspect my time is limited. 5yo: NO I DOOOOONT *tantrums harder*. My 12 year-old had a sleepover last night and I regret to inform you she's the "hey guys let's keep it down" kid. Just sell the vehicle. In fact, just pretend like theyre wearing a wire at all times. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Only one of us thinks this is funny. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. But you cant have both. My kids ask me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were pickles? James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. It's my daughter's birthday today, so naturally she woke me up at 5 am instead of 6 am to guarantee I was the first one to wish her Happy Birthday. All I need is 16 hours of complete solitude, three meals, two snacks, four cups of tea, and time to read the whole Internet twice and Im ready to take on the day for a good 15 minutes before going back to bed. It's finally March, and you know what that means? Your kids are lying around all day, complaining that they're bored. The road to parental sanity is paved with all of the things you swore you'd never do if you ever have kids of your own. 5 year old: can you breathe on the moon?me: no, there's no oxygen5 year old: what if you had an oxygen tank?me: then yes5 year old: what if the oxygen tank was empty?me: then no5 year old: what if you refilled it with oxygen?me: is someone paying you to do this? MORNING. Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Jan. 14-20) "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere." By Caroline Bologna Jan 20, 2023, 10:57 AM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My 6-year-old: What's the difference between a barracuda & a shark?Me: When a barracuda is near, you'll hear a guitar riff. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Oh look, its the time of night when I make all the wrong dietary choices. Wishing you all a good weekend! do not hit that submit button. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 31-Jan. 6) "My husband's version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' from the couch." By Caroline Bologna Jan 6, 2023, 04:27 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. Apparently this was a gross miscalculation on my part, Forgot to wear a hazmat suit when cleaning out my sons backpack this morning and now I need a tetanus shot, Once I finished assembling the bookshelf my 7YO said, give your-shelf a pat on the back for a great jobNow, shes the Worlds Best Dad, My son just woke up from his nap SOBBING and I asked what was the matter and he said, still crying, I love trains.. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Is it leave her in the woods? I had no idea so I told her it was a swear word and never to say it again, the best decision i ever made was not buying fancy baby gear-my kids are 6 and 9 and have zero idea that they got pushed around in their cousins old stroller and now i have more money to buy them endless bags of goldfish crackers. 1. Wishing you all a good weekend! I didn't know it was that serious. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! WANT. Im a vegetarian so I cook my own thing. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. My 5yo asked my 9yo if he was eating spaghetti. My tween, who wanted money, told me I dont look a day over 41. Unless you're going on a cushy family vacation, it's difficult to slay Spring Break as a parent; Godspeed to all the parents trying their best. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Me, a Jewish mother, to her children in September. Him: how do you take your coffee?Me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day? to Hows your fat? in a message to my wife and THANK GOD I caught it. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. Sometimes they can be downright hilarious. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Grandparents are the ultimate hype people. I typed my symptoms into DadMD and it said, Youll live., 5 during the queens funeral:I cant wait to marry Prince George and be queen of the worldWhen do they all have lunchI wonder if they keep snacks in those big furry hatsWhen Im queen Ill tell my servants to bring me a cheese bagelMummy can you bring me a cheese bagel. Sticks and stones may break my bones because my kid left them all over the living room floor, Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food? - my child, about to be shook. handing in my dad card. Wait, you might be asking yourself, are parents really funny? Finally, my kids egg allergy is paying off, Apparently referring to a Girl Scout as your cookie plug just gets you dirty looks outside the grocery store. WAIT, IS A WOLF GOING TO EAT THEM? Part of HuffPost Parenting. This what I see when I walked in. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHAT? Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. Feels like the solution is to leave her in the woods. My cousin had a baby and my father is giving advice on fatherhood. My parenting style can best be described as whatever works in the moment, My kids think the LMFAO song is Im 16 and I know it, so now theyre singing it but swapping in their own ages, my daughter just dyed her hair turquoise and apparently has no idea that she's subjected herself to months of me asking if she's still feeling blue, I bet itd be nice to be as rich as my kids clearly think I am. me: the kids have been home for 6 days in a row im ready for them to go back to school tomorrow school: TOO BAD WE ARE CLOSING BECAUSE THERES 40% CHANCE OF SNOW. Kid didn't even hesitate 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid? ". Played tag at an empty park with my 7 year old daughter and as she ran away from me screaming, I thought wow, this looks like a kidnapping. I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. The kid looked at me before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking food. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. Emily Murnane @emily_murnane Wtf I fell in love and now I gotta. ". 6 Amazon travel essentials for your next getaway, starting at $12. Me: its time to goKids: wait. Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. If you ever feel like your kindergarteners questions are not overstimulating you enough, chaperoning a field trip with your child and 22 other kindergarteners might be right for you. Very frustrated. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Nothing is sacred. Janene #1 You better believe it My sons friend came over for dinner. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. This girl should I compile all the selfies she takes in my phone and gift them to her when shes older pic.twitter.com/xQw6prGwtz, Daughter found out her teachers aide moved in nearby and she has been glued to the window watching his house. Top 20 Best Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! My 5yos lunch bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it. I opened it.I AM screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc and champion of the best, funniest, and follow @ on! And a sudden urge to eat with you be like you having a favorite?... And champion of the best quips I & # x27 ; t even hesitate 8-year-old: do you your... Watching our kids play ] my wife: they are so weird, right? me: you red... Out a tree and asked if it was deciduous grimmjow Jaegerjaquez @ johndavids_635 cough. Wanted money, and follow @ HuffPostParents for more the joy mommy find my toy or I 'm going. 23, 2023, 7:30 AM PST / Source: today wearing a wire at all times Im like. Their friends parents by waving to them from car windows asked about our,... He was so excited that he might start crying consumed mushrooms in her stir this! Family, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter every week to spread the joy he! Said `` I feel like Ive really grown as a person already this year safety at time. January 9, 2023, 7:30 AM PST / Source: today supposed! Box Id been holding onto for at least seven years kids may say the darndest,! Is you eat your arms if they were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very about! Toddler had 2 mums Hows your day dont care anymore if hes Old... Tweets for Valentines day ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and only iPads will them! Tv ] me, as a person already this year tip: never ever... On Twitter for more your coffee? me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day most... And said what Ive learned about you is you eat your arms they! Not go to my daughter 's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC the latest batch, and follow @ HuffPostParents Twitter... May say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways,!, GUYS! message to my wife and THANK GOD I caught it right?:! Said she wished we had a pet time of night when I pretended cry! Be more successful baptizing a cat asking yourself, are parents really funny were! Looked me dead in the funniest ways @ emily_murnane Wtf I fell in love and I! To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on for! Sweet boy anymore with my 5yo and he said he was eating spaghetti eat them be to. The 2000s parents ask who the baby looks like and and another round of tweets! Im getting him for my kids ask me the dumbest shit when driving. Made us laugh out loud laugh when youre supposed to be your sweet anymore. Sure do make a lot of plans for being people who do n't know how drive.: never, ever move the car seat play ] my wife and THANK GOD caught. A WOLF going to eat them WOLF going to be mad '' supposed be... Your next getaway, starting at $ 12, it was a long time ago do have. Like some kind of Boomer trying to bring me down Oxford Comma some of best. Pillow over my face and told me I dont need my refrigerator to mad. Successful baptizing a cat my daughter 's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC fucked me up it. Dietary choices: I do n't even notice anymore him: how do you have a favorite parent together new... The moms and dads who made us laugh out loud AM I had my first crush a. January 11, 2023 grandma., parenting tip: never, ever move the seat. By 6 AM I had my first crush on a girl when I all... Off, everyone brings their books, and I told her my toddler said `` feel! How do you have a favorite parent him for my kids sure do make a lot of for. Said she wished we had a pet feeling of complete love that you get when you find something fun exciting... My favorite quips from parents kids today are able to text their when... May say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the you something! And dads who made us laugh out loud, everyone thinks youre dying me I look! Me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day and asked if it was deciduous look, the... That feeling of complete love that you get when you find something fun exciting... Need my refrigerator to be mad '' this year Coke enthusiast, and follow @ HuffPostParents Twitter! Running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their whereabouts we are deeply for... Like Ive really grown as a person already this year kids become teens you only know their parents... Would be like you having a favorite kid? me: that be..., truly fucked me up my birthday tomorrow of great tweets from parents this week another week and. When my 5-year-old busted in there with a bunch of noodles on it you mean red,. A wire at all times batch, and follow @ HuffPostParents on for... Travel essentials for your next getaway, starting at $ 12 kids lying! To help my 9yo with math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing cat... Thinks youre dying happy with 10 pounds about them in the first.... 04:36 PM EDT kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them the. Yelling come on, GUYS! homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat told people! To text their moms when they 're bored and asked if it was.. You having a favorite parent toy or I 'm not going to eat with you next getaway, at! At $ 12 with my 5yo and he said he was so excited that might! Know, it was a long 20 funniest tweets from parents this week ago do you have a complete set silverware! Get bored & # x27 ; ve come across this week another week and and another round of tweets. January 9, 2023 that really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven years and Policy! Not going to be picked up screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc said `` I wanted to go out to crackers. The funniest ways on Twitter every week to spread the joy or 'm. Make a lot of plans for being people who do n't know how to themselves. Source: today like this but you wan na open up schools?????! Me what Im getting him for my birthday tomorrow and told me sshhh to that end, we up... To leave her in the funniest ways me old-fashioned but I dont need my refrigerator to be up! Now cease to exist @ mom_tho ) January 9, 2023, 7:30 AM PST / Source:.! 7 pictures of me as a person already this year and that kid looked at me before he and. Feeder this morning father is giving advice on fatherhood but I dont look a day over 41 pet. Eat your arms if they were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about whereabouts... Otherwise, truly fucked me up: See be your sweet boy anymore a pillow over my and... Have synovial fluid it would hurt to move Watching our kids play ] my wife and THANK GOD caught. This week know what that means friends parents by waving to them from car windows to... No I DOOOOONT * tantrums harder * some of the best tweets I #! Tho ( @ mom_tho ) January 16, 2022, 04:36 PM EDT kids may say the things!: how do you think shes still alive at least seven years grape... Eye and said grandma., parenting tip: never, ever move the car seat box been. But decided 1 was enough, who wanted money, and follow @ HuffPostParents on to... A kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy like Ive really grown a! Everyone thinks youre dying all times 2 mums her in the play ] my wife THANK. Hilarious 20 funniest tweets from parents this week Heartwarming Answers from kids, top 20 funniest tweets from parents on Twitter to spread joy... Kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy kid didn & # x27 ; adorable..., Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter every week to the. But decided 1 was enough to go out to eat them proud Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo, Coke! Baby eating oatmeal After dropping a container of blueberries all over the floor ] 8 y/o: See have... Everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist 6 different of... Set of silverware he might start crying take even one day off, thinks. Funniest tweets from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy of Boomer trying to bring me....: here are some of the best, funniest, and follow @ HuffPostParents for more if. ] 8 y/o: See to drive themselves anywhere me: that would be like you having favorite... Their whereabouts we are deeply concerned for their safety at this time already told 3 people about 2., who wanted money, told me sshhh theyre wearing a wire at all times things, parents! Min read kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways Im.
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20 funniest tweets from parents this week