Read on for tips on how to make it work for you and your baby. His granddad plays with him every minute he gets with him. I only leave her for one morning a week and have done this since she was 3 months old. If your wife can take a step back, realise this is a normal process going on and that her time will come (and probably sooner if she allows your daughter to live out her current crush on you), and stop worrying and taking it personal, life will be so much easier for all of you, and maybe especially for her. I dont know what to do, I feel desperate. This hurts so much that I cant help but cry. I have 11 month old baby and until 3 weeks ago I was 24 hours with him. In my opinion its not a healthy life for her or I. I feel robbed of the moments that I didnt get to enjoy with him, she pushed to give him his first bath and has done so much as she says she is helping. Sure, we would have had playdates and gone out into the world, but at 6 months, this kid already has friends. Or give me some advice so she wont freak out on me like she does? I did everything a mom should do with their child. even when am not with her she plays with her grand mother or even neighbors. It really hurts. I was a stay at home mom with my girl for the first nine monthsand from the beginning daddys always been better with her. This could change any day. (And no chords these evening until your baby is asleep! You have an excellent opportunity to build a fantastic relationship for the future. She is almost 10 months old. I have tried to brush the way my son behaves off, and put it down to just being a phase, but it has gone on for so long now. Im the one that takes care of him all the time when he sick has a bad dreamect like today my husband went to work and he cried I went to pick him up he didnt want anything to do with me. I was already reluctant to leave my son and I cried 30 minutes down the road and every night before I fell asleep missing him. They live in the moment and cannot cope with the longing, because they have no real sense of time. I have to also remind myself daily that this was for the love of God that I had this child. I am very responsive with both. I am 7 months pregnant again and am terrified that I will cling to this baby in a way to have the bond I dont have with my daughter. yes its also my in-laws first grand child but at times i feel there are selffish. Hi, To make them as comfortable as possible with you, have you tried recording lullabies or small stories that they can listen to when you are not around? She is my first child and she is the most pleasant little thing ever so I dont understand why she doesnt all of the sudden not want nothing to do with me. But I think something else is equally important if not more. Im a married mom with a 14 month old son who is obsessed with his dad and treats me like garbage a lot of the time. She is now my daughters god mother and I consider her a dear friend. She wouldnt even look at me when I tried to comfort her. It is good to know that I am not the only who has this feeling that their own children doesnt love them. The "opt out" revolution of high-earning women exiting the labor force to have babies, widely publicized in the early 2000s, may have been overstated. Sadly even then I think this hard-wiring can persist until well into school years, maybe beyond. And take the opportunity to do something for yourself while he is playing with grandma. Other babies become extremely attached to that person any time she or he is around. hi my baby is 5 months old and still now she hasnt recognized me. Id say that is completely normal! She absolutely refuses and when I asked her pediatrician he basically said tough luck my baby is too smart to take a bottle. she is three now. i feel so usless at the moment, i have a 5 month old daughter who in my mind hates the bones of me, as soon as her dad wakes in the morning to go to work she screams the place down for at least 3 hours,i just cant do anything to calm her down, when i finally get her settled again i just find my self breaking down in tears infront of my 2 year old son, he gives me a big hug and tells me that he loves me, i feel like i am doing everything on my own, my partners mother only lives round the corner but she is as helpful as a glass hammer, she has my partners 2 sons from his ex partner every weekend but she wont do with my daughter, my parents help me as much as they can, but they also have jobs to do. If your baby is younger than one year, even if she seems to be losing interest in breastfeeding, chances are she is not yet ready to wean. She wont get proper help if its not face2face. Doesnt really explain the fact hes always preferred her since he was born. This will help you to feel connected with your baby. I am just saying that even the most reasonable people some times do extremely stupid things in separations. That's where you come to her rescue and change all that with this gift for a mom going back to work. Somtimes she seems to get very distressed, but at bedtime I read to her and hold her, my wife says Im the best person to get her to sleep? I even think sometimes grandma secretly enjoys doing this to me. That way, you will keep making enough milk and will be less likely to get plugged ducts or engorged breasts. Please help!!!!! My husband has always told me that I am crazy for thinking that she doesnt love me, but it is to the point where I really need some type of help to help my cope with this issue. :) :) :). First, talk to your mom about how you feel. I feel left out. No matter what I do, she still wants me. Hi! That leaves us with no choice but to move to India for my son to be with his father. As mentioned earlier, a new sibling might result in the toddler rejecting the mother situation in most households. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. hi.. i am a mother of 6 month old twin boys. Praise your wife when she manages to be cool about it it isnt easy! Awaken his interest by laying down on the floor and playing with his toys, start kicking a ball, or whatever will catch his interest. In addition, toddlers younger than 2 years old are usually very hard to discipline, simply because they are too young. At the moment we are living in India with my husband and his parent, my son seems to be attached to them more than me. It really upsets me because her dad or greatgrandmother can get her when she starts doing this to me and she is fine. Imagine what a huge change has just happened to your daughter, getting a new home, new parents, new environment. This cookbook contains about 200 recipes and photos of how to make delicious meals easily and quickly. Otherwise, you will reinforce her wishes to put distance between the two of you and her wish to go to the other person, where does not experience any bad emotions. I just could not take time off so his grandparents (his fathers parents) have stayed with him. First, identify why your baby might be refusing the bottle. I have a 2 year old daughter. It breaks my heart that my daughter doesnt want anything to do with me. It just breaks my heart that my own parents seem to have taken my place. He hates being cuddled in my arms and the only time I manage to have him in my arms is when I am feeding him at night and ONLY because he is half asleep. For example, your baby may have recently had a vaccination and one of his arms may be a bit sore. In the morning, can you and your daughter get dressed together before you meet the others? Here is the good news: you are not alone. If you are even in the vicinity of your daughter when the nanny is there, she will scream for you and you alone. I thought I was doing the best thing for myself and my daughter. Somewhere around this age, babies start realizing that they are a separate person from their mom. we spend so much time with our babies, i think its natural for them to pick up on our vibe. I feel so much for you! i am so depressed most the time i am really starting to feel like he hates me. Thanks, Mai!!! This is the age when separation anxiety and stranger anxiety may come in full force. paid fire departments near bandung, bandung city, west java; tu exam center 2078 notice. I have a 15 month old son who has been choosing my mother in law over me since he was probably 8 months old. 6. When I drop her off at daycare she doesnt look twice. I do the same, care, dress, cook, feed, bottle. However the last few days as he has been spending more time with his dad he starts to moan when we are together and nothing is good enough and he cries really badly when he is hungry. Up till this point she has always been a happy child, always smiling and loved everyone. If he feels scared or sick she is the only person who can comfort him. Regardless of how strong the bond between your and your daughter is today, and the reasons for the situation, if you continue to love her and spend time with her alone and with other, things will improve. Anyway, I wish I could say something to ease the burden you are under, just know that a fellow mom out there is empathizing with you. I just left my 4-month-old son for the first time overnight with my parents. Thats good too; try to see that. me and my partner were separated for awhile while i gave birth and then 7 months after that could she be missing my parents who are in a other country or is it something else. xxx. Or that babies dont do that. I feel like a bad mom. Hi me too but my baby is only 4 months old. have lost joy in the time with my other son I feel like I just resent him and my husband for being able to make him happy. Hes happy all day till grandma gets here (everyday) she comes by and plays with him for 1-2 hours and then I go to get him and he wont even put his arms out to me! But if grandma or grandpa or daddy was her he would def go with one of them instead of me! He always trying to get daddys attention instead. But some times when he dropes food on the ground i yell but not straight at him i just yell for a second and then try to controle my self ,is that the reason or there is somthing else . I understand how worried you are, especially since you are expecting a second child in two months. Being just 1 month old (you can read about the milestones of a 1 month old baby here), your daughter doesnt think anyone is her mom she is just reacting to what feels the most secure. If changing diapers with mom means that she gets to play with a special diaper toy and that mom sings a song and tickles her, or that she gets to feed herself and teddy bear (and mom) with a brand-new spoon, or that bedtime means a warm bath in the tub with mom, then these situation can be made less of power struggles too. Im Paula and you can read about this website and how it all started here. Ive read what Paula has said many times about the excitement of being with someone different and I understand. Secondly, your daughter does not hate you. Take your baby for a casual walk. Join her in her happiness when dad come home and let her know that her love of dad is OK. Now my problem seems to be that she doesnt like me very much, I think myabe she remembers my tears and frustration with her and cant forgive me. Just recently he has started clinging to Daddy again, and I noticed that it was coinciding with feeling quite homesick (I live abroad, far away from my parents and siblings). Maybe it is time for both you and her to have a break. She keeps telling me that shes a bad mother and that our daughter hates her. When I gave birth for the second time, I not only gave birth to my first son but I also welcomed back an . Please advice what should I do. There are so many nights when I would cry myself to sleep from the heartbreak and helplessness that I feel. She cant even choose not to, because you are her mom. Unfortunately I allow my feelings to get hurt too easily. 200 recipes and photos of how to make delicious meals easily and quickly, a home. His granddad plays with her she plays with her you feel my daughters God mother and I consider her dear. 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baby rejecting mom after going back to work